Low frustration tolerance is a huge struggle for many of my clients with Autism and special needs. How would you feel if you knew exactly what you wanted but lacked the skills to tell someone?? How do we deal help our children and students deal with frustration?
First let me say – This article is not intended to be a “fix-all” for frustration and the behaviors that result. There are many, many other professionals out there that are qualified to help with reducing frustration and negative behavior through an intervention plan.
I do, however, strongly believe that music therapy has a special role in assisting students in working through frustration and even in preventing it.
Several of my clients practice relaxation techniques in music therapy and learn/practice songs designed to help them remember to stay calm, take deep breaths, and ask for a break. I actually wrote such a song here and it has worked beautifully.
This song is about 1) recognizing the feeling of frustration, 2) stating how you feel, and 3) knowing that is OK.
Tips & Tricks
Teach when calm. The best time to teach this song is NOT when the child in in the midst of frustration or is having a meltdown. We do want the child to eventually transfer recognition and techniques to their own experiences but that will not happen until she has time to practice in a calm and happy environment.
Give opportunities to fill in a feelings statement. This could be with a communication device, using words, or using pictures. In the fill-in version of the song (available in our store), there is a specific spot in the song when the child can practice this!
Lyrics
Verse:
When mom says “no,” I feel frustrated.
When I don’t get my way, I feel frustrated.
When my teacher says, “not right now,” I feel frustrated.
When it’s time to move on, I feel frustrated.
Tag:
I feel frustrated.
I feel frustrated.
Chorus:
So I take a step back.
I take a deep breath.
I count to ten.
Then I try it again.
I ask for help.
I take a break.
Say how I feel: “I feel angry. I feel frustrated.”
And that’s ok.
What are some strategies you use when your student or child is dealing with frustration? Have you used music before? Let me know in the comments or send me a message mary@musictherapykids.com.
Sing on,
Mary
I Feel Frustrated
Want a few ready-to-use pediatric session materials?
If you’re building up your music therapy toolbox, I also have a free 3-Song Pediatric Session Pack you can download and use right away.
It includes simple, low-prep songs and supports designed for music therapists working with children — perfect for days when you want something practical, structured, and easy to pull into a session.
